You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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