So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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