when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
