kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
