she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No subtext here. People are naked.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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