Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
