I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
