i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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