I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
