Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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