my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Come share oat with me in your robe
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
