pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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