you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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