whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
