I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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