She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
