i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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