I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
