I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
