Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
