Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I died a long time ago.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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