I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just made out with a guy for $7.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
