I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
