Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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