Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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