I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
