We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
