Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Life is so much better after having sex.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
