new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I love you. Go after that dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
