If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It was confusing and full of hummus
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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