My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
