covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
