You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
