I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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