people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
