he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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