We're like a lot better than the average bears
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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