you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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