We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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