Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
