The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
