I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
