its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
how drunk are you?
Several
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
