My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
