So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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