is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize