Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
