Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
