Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
