Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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